Focus on Health and Emotional Wellness: Rethinking Respite

By Mindy Payne

The value of respite cannot be overstated. It can reduce stress in families, prevent costly out-of-home placements, serve to enhance the families’ coping abilities, increase caregiver physical and mental well-being and provide the caregiver with an opportunity for social activities and community involvement (www.caringcommunities.org).

But respite doesn’t have to mean hiring someone to care for or assist a child who has a disability. Parents who don’t have respite care services can look at respite in creative ways. When a child or young person participates in a recreation activity, this can be considered respite for the parent or caregiver. Maybe a child takes part in a weekly swimming program. While that time could certainly be used to run errands, it could also be used to catch up with a friend, take a walk or read a book. Any occasion that a caregiver has to oneself can be viewed as respite, even if it is only for a limited amount of time.

The more a child is involved in community activities, the more time the parent/caretaker has to take those much-needed breaks. And being involved in recreation is not only a positive experience for the child, but for the family as well. Using UCP Kids’ four-step model, parents can identify what types of activities their child may enjoy. After finding an appropriate match, it is important to set up natural supports within the group or activity. UCP Kids’ model suggests finding a “gatekeeper,” or person who will facilitate the child’s entry into the group. Often the gatekeeper is the coach, instructor or leader of the group. This person, in a sense, becomes a respite care provider! Granted, at first, many parents will not just drop off their child and leave. But over time, once a comfort level and sense of trust are established among the child, recreation provider and parent, the parent may be able to leave the child at the activity and use that time as respite. An hour a week might not seem significant, but spending it taking care of YOU might be exactly what’s needed to feel refreshed and better equipped to be a parent. This time away also helps a child to become more independent and confident spending time with other trusted adults – which may ultimately lead to more community activities and respite time for parents.

If a parent is not able to leave the child’s activity or recreation center, he or she can still use the time as respite. Parents can bring a scrapbook to work on, enjoy a thermos of coffee and a snack, or a walk around the building while the child participates in the activity. There’s no rule that says respite time has to be spent in a restaurant or movie theater! Respite is any time that the family can take a break from the daily routine of caregiving. Even a play date for young kids or “hanging out” time can be used as respite. Parents might get a chance to talk over a cup of tea while kids play and interact.

However you view it, whatever creative ways you come up with to use it, respite time benefits everyone in the family. To see how several moms use their respite care time, read our Focus on Friendship article by Mary Ann McGuirk.